Pearl and Larry's Fate
by Kathy The Cat
Summary: This is a short piece of crap that reflects how much I hate Pearl and Larry (NOTE: don't read if you like those characters. Hey, I put this note here because I obviously care about you) Yes, this is an actual story, not a mindless flame.


Pearl and Larry's Fate

It was a bright, and beautiful day at the Krusty Krab, but poor Pearl felt insignificant there, and her heart felt like it would explode with anguish and sadness, for her father was happy, and it always made poor Pearl miserable when her dad was happy. His happiness showed how uncontrollably un-cool he was, and that he was completely unknowing of just how much damage he could do when he was anything other than being a mindless, voiceless parent, who should show no signs of power over the dominant 16-year old female daughter.

"So Pearly! How would you like to come help count my money?" Said Mr. Krabs. "You've been sittin' at that table for a long while, now."

"Well, dad, I-"

"AYE!" Mr. Krabs interrupted. "I don't just let anyone touch me money! Only the people who have touched me heart... the ones who I can trust to keep the green, green."

Squidward raised his eyebrow, as he looked at them from the cash register. "Uh huh," he mumbled.

"... And you, Pearl; I think you've turned worthy of handling the precious treasures of this wonderful establishment; my own flesh and blood." After saying this, an ear-shattering wave of applause came from everyone seated, as well as a vague "AWWWWWWWWWWW".

"WAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA!! I DON'T WANNA BE YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD!! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Pearl's wail (or "whale", hee) echoed throughout the whole restaurant with her large lung capacity, and ran out of the building like a stereotypical girl, sobbing her brains out.

Mr. Krabs stared, not incredulously, but very disinterested. "Arr..." He then, rolled his eyes, and walked back to his office. "Nothin to see here, folks! Continue with yer eatin!" he called out to some of the customers, who were a little frightened.

Pearl, on the other hand, got very tired after running a whopping, 30 seconds, and slowed to a walk, dragging her feet, thinking about how miserable and forlorn that her father makes her every second of her Neptune-forsaken life. Her slow walking finally made it to Goo Lagoon, and she figured she'd have a light snack, before maybe heading to the mall to hang with her little friends. In relation to her, they were little, at least. That's why they liked being her friend.

Pearl made her way to the snack bar. "Excuse me..." she said, waiting for the guy to take her order. "Um, like; EXCUSE ME!!!" she bellowed.

"HUH? WHAT?" The guy was startled from reading his magazine. "Oh... eh, what do you want?"

"Oh, just a kelp nugget krunch bar, 16 fried oyster skins, kelp on the cob, french flies and a chocolate doughnut." Pearl said, like it wasn't really a big deal.

"Yeah, uh... okay," the guy said, and handed over her food, which took two trays.

"Thaaaaaaaaanks," Pearl said, and sat over at a table, filled with a bunch of gossipy teens from Pearl's high school.

"OMIGOD! Do you guys know what my dad did? He like; made up this totally EMBARRASSING speech about me being his like; flesh and blood, y'know? And he like; was so happy. I was MISERABLE! OMIGOD!" That flowed right outta Pearl's mouth like butter.

"OMIGOD, Pearl! I know JUST how you feel! Like; my mom, y'know? She actually PICKED ME UP FROM SCHOOL yesterday, and TALKED TO ME! And in front of Billy Fishkins!" Pearl's friend talked like a gobbling turkey.

One small fish, who shared a class with these two walked by and said "You guys, I don't think Billy Fishkins really gives a carp (A/N: I really meant to say "carp", not "crap") whether someone's mom talks to them or not."

"SHELLA! YOU AREN'T EVEN IN THIS CONVERSATION! Like; WHY are you talking to us?" one of Pearl's friends retorted.

"YAH! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, SHELLA!" Pearl spat like venom.

Shella only stared at them, but then she made an enormous, psychotic grin that seemed to take up her entire face. It was the kind of smile that made people really nervous.

"Um... look Shella, we're sorry," one person at the table said, but Shella just kept grinning, and stared at each of their eyes like a banshee, and her own eyes began to glow red.

"Hey, we really are... can you stop now?" Pearl said, quivering, and Shella did leave, and she kept that smile plastered to her face.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence............................ UNTIL PEARL BROKE IT. "OMIGOD! So, like; who's going to Laura's party? CAN YOU BELIEVE she actually invited CHANDRA? OMIGOD, she's SUCH a loser!"

"I KNOW! THAT'S JUST LIKE; so wrong!" and this conversation went on for QUITE some time now, making neighboring people a little uneasy.

Blah, blah, blah, talk, talk talk, gobble, gobble, gobble, they sounded like a pack of wild turkeys.

Soon, all of Pearl's tiny little friends had to go home and do their homework, leaving little Pearly all alone. She stood up, leaving her tray for someone else to put away for her, and was just about to walk home, when something large, red, and hideous strutted by. Pearl was immediately interested, and walked right up to the guy. "Hi there," she said calmly and pettily.

"Um... hello," said Larry.

Pearl just stood where she was, staring at the tall figure that loomed before her.

"Uh, look. I gotta go over there and get some tanning pills," he said, uncomfortably.

"WAIT!! Let me go with you!" Pearl pleaded, grabbing his leg when he took a step.

Larry looked down at the little (surprising that he thinks she's little) whale, and shrugged his shoulders. "Fine by me, but the next time you want to come on MY beach, try getting a nose job, girly," Larry said, and continued walking with Pearl following close behind.

"WILL DO! WILL DO!" Pearl exclaimed, obsequiously.

Finally, they got to a little safe, right by the roadside, which was obviously owned by Larry. He opened it up, and took from it a big can of tanning pills. "Larry, you are lookin' good tonight!" he said in self-worship, and chomped down, on those pills.

"Why do you eat those?" Pearl asked like a little girl, even though she knew exactly what they were, but she liked to pretend she was an idiot, which is surprising because she's already kind of an idiot.

"It's what makes me the guy you see before you, little one," Larry said robustly, with his head up in the air.

"I like what I see before me," Pearl said flirtatiously.

"Uh, yeah," was all Larry had to say about that statement, and continued chomping on the pills.

After about a dozen, Larry began coughing and hacking, and his eyes turned almost as red as his pompous shell. "ACCCKK! HIIIICCC!! GURRRRGLLLLL! GASP!!! GLLLLRRLLLLHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCC!" and Larry fell to the ground, and suddenly, blacked out.

"Aw, Dear Neptune, Larry. FRED! He did it again!" Tom the Whale yelled out to his friend, with a chuckle in his voice. He looked back at Larry and rolled his eyes.

"Just a second, Tom! I've got the medical expert right here!" yelled Fred, and he came running back with... Patrick. "He told me he knew what to do."

"What? No I don't. I thought I did, but I don't." Patrick said, and walked away with a look of wonder on his face.

Pearl certainly was pathetic here, and so, copying the lines of some actress from her favorite movie, Pearl spilled out these words. "NOOOOO!!! DON'T DIE!!! YOU'RE MY ONE TRUE LOVE!!! IF YOU DIE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!" This same text, though modified, is written in every chick flick in Bikini Bottom where a character has a chance of dying.

"Oh shut up, kid. He's not gonna die. For Neptune's sake, he does this every day!" Tom the Whale said to the smaller, but nonetheless, still quite a hefty load, whale.

"Oh... okay." Pearl said sniffling, and kneeled over Larry, who was still blacked out on the lonely roadside. "Don't worry Larry. You're not gonna die. And I've always loved yo-"

SCRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTH!!!!!!!

Spongebob was taking another driving test. THE END


End file.
